Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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