those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
