dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its not stalking. its research.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
