I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
