Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
smell my finger.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize