we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
