Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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