I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
