piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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