We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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