Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
