Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
