Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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