i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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