About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
my liver is dry heaving
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
