Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god