there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE