the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
