Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
