I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
