I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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