Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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