If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
