Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
