Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
