so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
