Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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