I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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