Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize