I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
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So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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