i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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