Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
