I think I just saw someone hide a body.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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