when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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