the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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