Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
