Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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