How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
should my penis look like a turkey
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
