Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
