I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
