Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
