my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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