i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
