I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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