On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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