So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
