You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
