i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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