Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
