i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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