he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
