he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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