Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
