That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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