was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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