he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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