I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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